Really I am not feeling sad or grieving, just thinking.
I have a friend who has five children on earth and five in heaven. She has assigned each of the heavenly children a sibling on earth to pray for and look after. When one of her children is giving her trouble she prays to the assigned sibling in heaven, "You're not doing your job, don't make me come up there.". It's like that with the babies we lost to miscarriage. They are part of the family. My children like to figure out where each of our miscarried babies would fit in the line up and how old they would be right now.
After each loss God has sent us rich consolation, usually through the thoughtfulness of our family and friends. Particularly when we lost Jude. I was nearly at the end of the first trimester and had wicked morning sickness. It was during that time that our nephew and Godson, Will, was adopted. I was still recovering from the miscarriage when he was baptized and we had a big party to celebrate. The times I got to just sit and hold him were so precious and comforting. We will never see the big picture of how our lives bless others, but it's clear no matter how young or old, our lives touch others in special ways only God can plan. Each life is so valuable.